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I’ve never come out publicly and said it before, but here goes.

“I’m married to, and madly in love with, a total nutjob.”

There he is. The lunatic himself.

It’s true. I’ve even got proof.

James’ 50th birthday (February 23rd 2018) has long been looming in front of us. And when I say long been looming, I mean he’s long been talking about this big day for YEARS. Not that he’s dreading it or anything, oh heck no. He’s been excitedly holding it over my head as a day that we MUST. DO. SOMETHING. EPIC. And since it’s HIS big day, it falls on me to plan this once-in-a-lifetime event, or so he tells me.

And now here’s the nutjob part.

You know what one of James’ fantasy 50th birthday events is?

Being an “extra” in a Bollywood movie dance scene.

I kid you not, that’s his big dream.

Just so you see what I’ve been dealing with; here’s a pic I got with this note: “Working on my moves for my big screen debut.”

To be clear, he has no dancing skills WHATSOEVER. This all stems from a local restaurant near us called “Ganesh.” They have TVs set up around the restaurant, and they play DVDs of Bollywood dance numbers. Not the whole movie, just the singing and dancing bits. Every time we eat there, James has his neck craned 90 degrees, totally engrossed by the jerking, gyrating, perfectly choreographed colorful spectacle coming from the screen as he laps up his coconut korma.

Someone clearly has too much time on his hands…

I’ve actually gone so far as googling it, “how to be an extra in a Bollywood movie”.  Go ahead if you’re curious, try it.  Turns out it’s actually a “thing”.  Basically, you get yourself to Mumbai and you hang out in the backpacker hangouts. From there, you wait. If you’re lucky, the “casting agents” who scout around the backpacker hangouts will spot your beauty and exotic looks, and then they’ll load you up in a car and whisk you away to the Bollywood set. Either that, or you’ll get in the car and your face will end up on a Missing Persons sign…posted right there on the Colaba Causeway, directly under a poster advertising the next hot Bollywood movie release. Sort of a twisted Karma thing.

“Let’s hang out here all day and hope we get scouted for a movie! Yay!”

So when I realized that dream was dead, I decided I couldn’t quite tell him. Really, he’s been talking about this Bollywood-extra dream for YEARS!!! I still haven’t told him it’s never gonna happen. I don’t want to be forever known as the Murderer of his Dreams. So! I pulled out my most effective behavioral strategy back from my teaching days; “redirection.”

You see, being a Bollywood extra isn’t the ONLY dream James has for his 50th birthday. The other one was doing some challenging road-bike rides overseas. Now THIS is less nutty and something I can arrange! So I’ve been spending the year ignoring his Bollywood dream whenever it comes up, and I redirect the conversation to talking about doing some epic cycling-in-Europe.

Not Europe! Colorado, actually. Me: “Honey hold Lucy so I can take a pic of you!” And no it wasn’t a ploy for me to take another glamour shot of Lucy, jeez.

Y’all know we’re big fans of Trek, and we both got new Trek road bikes with custom paint this summer so they match Lance (bike dorks and proud of it), remember? Well, Trek also has a cycling tour company called “Trek Travel.” They do a wide variety of cycling tours all over the world, and they have a reputation as one of the best cycling tour operators around. So! I perused their schedule and found a week long ride camp in Mallorca (one of Spain’s Islands in the Mediterranean) happening right over James’ birthday! SO PERFECT!

I JUST officially paid and booked us at that ride camp, so it’s official.

GANG! We’re going cycling in Mallorca for James’ 50th OMG!!!!

James knows, and is thrilled…phew! No mention from him of the Bollywood thing, fingers crossed the ride camp keeps him distracted. Let’s just not breathe a word about Bollywood to him, deal?

Another glamour shot of Lucy and me…I mean James and me!!!

Anyways, I’m telling you this because I think it would be so cool if any of our FitRV readers who are cycling enthusiasts wanted to sign up and join us on this terrific Trek Travel tour (ah alliteration awesomeness!).

You’re Invited on James’ Mallorca Cycling Birthday Trip!


We’re booked on the 7-day tour beginning on 02/18/2018, and we’ll be lodging at Monnaber Nou Eco Hotel and Spa for the whole trip, which looks amazing.

We’ve never been to Mallorca, but we know people who have and everyone seems to agree it’s an incredible destination. Mallorca’s known for beach resorts, limestone mountains, beautiful scenery, and even some ancient Roman and Moorish history I’m looking forward to investigating.

I should warn you, this cycling trip isn’t the toodling-about kind, it’s the hard kind of cycling and it’s not for beginners. The rides vary from 30-70 miles per day, and you can go as fast or slow as you please so that’s nice, especially since there’s tons of climbing. One of the rides has 7,000 feet of climbing, and there’s an option for a more intense ride doing 9270 feet of climbing another day. I think I’ll pass on that one. James won’t though. But that’s because he’s a nutjob, as we’ve established previously.

Anyways, I seriously hope you’ll consider. James would be tickled if anyone joined us and was along to celebrate his big day, as would I. Plus then if I end up bailing on a ride to hang out at the spa in our hotel one day, I’d feel less guilty, heh heh.

Does this sound like a way better plan than hanging out in Mumbai cafes hoping to be abducted or what?